In a world that pulls our children in every direction, how do we anchor them in the character of Christ? Some days homeschooling feels less like a classroom and more like a battlefield. Here’s what I’ve learned about leaning on a perfect Savior when I am anything but a perfect mom.
I want to start by saying we are imperfect people with a perfect God. I am realizing I need to start the day with gratitude. Reminding myself that I first and foremost belong to God, I need to fully trust in Him and give Him my undivided attention, especially at the beginning of the day. Doing daily bible reading and journaling has helped shift our home from chaos to harmony most days. We aren’t perfect people. We each face our own inward battles daily, and we need to repent and ask for forgiveness often. However, giving time and attention to God has helped reshape our home and lives in a positive way.
When coming at each other with a sharp tongue instead of gentleness seems like the household norm, and you feel that nothing you can do will help. Things are just getting out of control. Sibling rivalry at the point where I wanted to pull my hair out. I struggled and wrestled with what to do to help them get along and to stop being so hateful towards each other, and towards me. Let’s face it, when the whole family is together most of the time, you’re going to have disagreements, get on each other’s nerves, and have a lack of sympathy towards each other. This happens in homes and workplaces across the country. No group of people is going to get along all of the time. Add in having teens, with all their raging hormones, unpredictable behavior, know-it-all attitude, and at times, lack of self-control, oh, so exhausting. Topping that with being their mom and teacher too. That adds a whole different aspect to the relationship. Not only do my kids receive discipline and correction from me as their mom, but also as their teacher. There was no separation between me, their parent, and me, their teacher.
We were doing a bible lesson one day about “Speaking Life.” The key verse was from Proverbs 18:21: “the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat of its fruit. We also read James 3:1-12. I encourage you to take a minute to read that. In short, this helps us understand that the tongue, being the smallest member of the body, cannot be tamed. This passage also warns us about teaching the word and being judged more strictly. Whoa, that hits hard. I asked my children, “Do you talk more kindly to your friends than you do to your family?” They paused a minute and said, “Yes, sometimes.” I asked, “Why?” They really didn’t have an answer to that question. They just gave me a puzzled look. We went on to discuss how we treat others. How our relationships could change if we only spoke words that gave grace instead of tearing them down. This actually happens more often than we realize. Families get torn apart sometimes by the silliest things. Grudges, resentment, unresolved anger, unforgiveness. I will add that my extended family is broken. Many things happened to cause the brokenness within it. However, we have strived to create a home with our children that is safe, reliable, and one in which we have each other’s backs. We offer our children shelter, food, beds, warmth, love, boundaries, and respect. Yet we still struggle with the harsh truths that we don’t always speak to one another graciously.
Being a mom is hard. Homeschooling our kids is hard. Doing all of that with grace is hard. Add in dealing with PTSD, trying to work through my own past trauma, yet still keeping my cool with our kids, that’s all God. How I deal with my children’s behavior is the complete opposite of how my parents dealt with my siblings and me. That has taken a lot of praying, learning, self-discipline, and trusting that God gave me these beautiful children because He knows I am the right person for the job. He equipped me with everything He knew I needed to be the best mom for them. Am I perfect? No. Do I make mistakes? Lots of them. Do I have regrets? Absolutely. I often think, “I could have handled that situation differently.” “I should have shown more grace,” and so on. I apologize to my children when I wrong them in hopes they see their mom, imperfect yet capable of humbling myself and asking for forgiveness. I pray they will do the same when they wrong others.
Teaching our children about the characteristics of God has been and is a top priority in our home. Using the NKJV bible verses below. Can you answer these questions honestly and allow the Holy Spirit to lead you?
God is All-Powerful:
" Ah, Lord God! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. There is nothing too hard for You."
Jeremiah 32:17 (NKJV)
How does God display His Power?
" Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us."
Ephesians 3:20(NKJV)
" For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek."
Romans 1:16 (NKJV)
God is Able to Protect:
" I will love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised; So shall I be saved from my enemies."
Psalms 18:1-3 (NKJV)
What does God promise to protect you from?
" But the Lord is faithful, who will establish you and guard you from the evil one."
2 Thessalonians 3:3 (NKJV)
" I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears."
Psalms 34:4 (NKJV)
God is All-Knowing:
" and by this we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before Him. For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things."
1 John 3:19-20 (NKJV)
Ask yourself what areas God knows about in your life?
" Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts. Then each one’s praise will come from God."
1 Corinthians 4:5 (NKJV)
"You have set our iniquities before You, our secret sins in the light of Your countenance."
Psalms 90:8 (NKJV)
" And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. "
Hebrews 4:13 (NKJV)
God is Never-Changing
" For I am the Lord, I do not change; Therefore, you are not consumed, O sons of Jacob. "
Malachi 3:6 (NKJV)
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. "
Hebrews 13:8 (NKJV)
God is the same always. Never changing. A constant in our lives. Our stronghold. Our place of refuge. Our place of peace. The God who sees us, hears us, and delights in us, even though we are imperfect people. He brought the perfect Lamb of God, His son, Jesus Christ, to be our redeemer. Our perfect Savior. How beautiful, we are forgiven of sin, because God loves us so much. He wants us to come to Him, have a relationship with Him, and honor Him with our lives, and not some parts, every part of our lives, the good, bad, and ugly parts no one else sees. God sees all of it and still loves us. How does that change your perspective?