It’s easy to point fingers at what others have done wrong. But God calls us to something harder — and more freeing — than blame. Here’s what happens when we take an honest look at ourselves.

How often do we put the blame on others? Have you ever given this much thought?

Have remarks like, “It’s his/her fault, he/she is to blame,” “They did this to me, why should I even bother with them?” or “It’s because of them that I am a disgrace,” ever crossed your mind?

How often do we really think about what part we played?

" “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces."

Matthew 7:1-6 (NIV)

Are we as innocent as we claim we are? Are we defending ourselves so we don’t have to face the harsh reality that we may have been involved or did something to start a chain reaction that has led to current events before us?

Have you been holding onto anger, bitterness, resentment, pride, or arrogance? Why?

If you’re ready to stop placing blame and start taking ownership of your actions. Transform your victim mentality into a victorious mindset.

Start today by praying, asking God to reveal the places hidden within your heart where you’re holding onto anger, bitterness, resentment, pride, and arrogance. As he starts revealing these, some deep-seated emotions might come with it. In my experience, letting those emotions come, crying if necessary, and making your way to your place of solitude to pray. Allowing yourself to “feel all of the feelings” and emotions, then laying them down at Jesus’ feet, is when true healing begins. We weren’t meant to carry all of that anyway. You will find yourself more joyful, experiencing peace that only God can provide. Others might see you and think you look brighter and lighter, because in truth, you are. When we shine light in the dark places of our hearts, healing begins. People can literally see Jesus on your face.

Dig deep, pray hard, and allow the blessings God has already laid out before you to be revealed.

What now?

We should take a daily inventory: Acknowledging God’s presence in our lives, giving thanks, continually seeking Him, and praying that He reveals any hidden sins daily that you might not even be aware of.

" Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?"

2 Corinthians 13:5: (NIV)

Check yourself for hidden sins by asking: Did I use someone else’s mistakes to make me feel better? Did I seek validation from people or God today? Don’t let pride get in the way of your blessings.

" My eyes are on all their ways; they are not hidden from me, nor is their sin concealed from my eyes."

Jeremiah 16:17 NIV (NIV)

Have a trusted buddy: A really good friend who will lovingly point out, encourage, and help you with the blind spots you might not be able to see!

" As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."

Proverbs 27:17 (NIV)

Change your mindset: “they did this to me” to “I am more than a conqueror,” or “God can use this story for His glory.”

" No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us."

Romans 8:37 (NIV)

This isn’t a one-and-done type deal. This is a daily choice to wake up, pray, deny self, and walk with God. This doesn’t mean deny yourself nourishment, basic needs, or dislike yourself. This means it’s a “transfer of power” where you stop putting your own selfish interests and agendas first and start asking what God wants instead. It means saying “No” to habits like anger, pride, and greed that pull you away from Him. Ultimately, we are sinful and in need of a loving, gracious, kind Heavenly Father to lean on. Does this mean we are never going to mess up? No. That’s why it is a daily practice. I sin daily, even when I don’t mean to. I am human, sinful by nature. However, through the grace of God and repentance, my sins are forgiven.

" Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me."

Luke 9:23 (NIV)