Some of the most common remarks about homeschooling I receive are “How do you do it? I could never homeschool my children; I don’t have the patience.” Generally followed by “What about socialization?” “Do you stay in your PJ’s all day?” “I need my space; I couldn’t do it.” “What actual work do you get done in a day?” “Aren’t you afraid your kids will be antisocial or weird?” “It’s such a privilege to homeschool; must be nice.”
If you have homeschooled for any length of time, I’m sure you’ve heard these too. A large portion of people think that homeschool families sit around in their PJs all day goofing off or playing. When children are younger, it might appear that way to someone passing by at the grocery store, with your 4 children in tow, all under 6. Each one in their own little world, having separate conversations, asking for this or that, running around the buggy, touching, and playing with things on the end caps. This might look like chaos to some, but realistically, your children are learning through play. The weird looks you get from people when your kids are older shopping with you; the question might arise, “Shouldn’t they all be in school?” You politely say, “They are,” and try to walk on by. Generally, a follow-up question is, “Are they on break?” “No, we homeschool our children. This is the part of their school day where they get real-world experience in shopping, budgeting, and managing a household.” After a quick conversation, you move on with your day.
The reality is, the parent has to teach all subjects and all grade levels from K-12 if they choose that route. Personally, I am wife, mom, teacher, disciplinarian, chauffeur, cook, house cleaner, landscaper, lawn mower, and so on. The difference between me and others is that I don’t get paid a salary, I don’t have the luxury of a day off, and I can’t call in sick. When I am sick or have had surgeries in the past, I still have to plan, make sure the kids have access to food and schoolwork, and make sure they do their chores. This is the choice our family made because it fits for us. Homeschooling isn’t for everyone either.
For most of us, homeschooling is a sacrifice. We don’t sit around in our PJs all day. We aren’t rich by the world’s standards, but we are rich in love, blessings, and our faith in Jesus Christ. We are a one-income household that struggles at times. Our family, like most other homeschooling families, purchases all the curriculum and attends extracurricular activities. We often use free resources or trade with other homeschool families when we can because it can be expensive. We can’t always afford full-stack curriculum or send our kids to every activity they’re interested in either. Sports, homeschool group outings, and band, for example, cost extra.
Our children get up, are dressed, and start their day with me at the table, sometimes eating breakfast and a cup of coffee, for me. YAY! Our school day usually starts with the Bible, prayer, and morning reading. Ah, our first hiccup, already! Laced with total sarcasm there! Reading is the part of our day where our younger one fights tooth and nail as if we are taking her favorite toy or removing all the fun. See, she is not a fan of reading; she has struggled in that area as many children do, especially because she has dyslexia. I am too; we work through it together, even though it can be hard. She then realizes she wasted 20 minutes trying to get out of the reading assignment when she was done in 10. Being real here. I can’t be the only one. We take breaks to play outside, do activities they enjoy, and have free time. Have another meltdown because we have to get back to work. Pouty face, stomp stomp stomp. Oh wait, that meltdown was me this time! I group certain subjects for Bible, science labs, and history we do together. We have cleaning, laundry, and other chores scheduled daily; home economics for the win! After lunch are usually subjects that can be done alone, or with me one-on-one if they need assistance. Each day is different; some might be spent working together on a large science lab or history lesson, playing applicable hands-on games. Other days, we might go to a museum, the zoo, or a fun educational outing. Yay for outside stuff! They help budget for groceries, build a shopping list, do acts of service projects, help neighbors, sit with the elderly, attend church activities like it’s going out of style, and so on. My goal as a mom is to equip them for life. Right?
I spend a good deal of my time writing and preparing lessons. I agonize over whether I am doing enough; I spend nights awake praying over every aspect of our lives. Ask God to reveal things I personally need to work on to make the day better and gently remind me of my why. I pray for a surrendered, obedient heart, not only for myself but for my husband and children. Many of my friends who homeschool do the same. The old saying “worry is like rockin’ chair; it’s fun to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere” really resonates with me on this one. God didn’t say if we trust him in all aspects of our life, it’s going to be easy, or it’s going to be cupcakes and rainbows all the time. In fact, Jesus said it’s going to be hard. We should expect trials and tribulations. And when we do, we can trust that God has a plan. The verses in James below let us know that when trials come, we should count it all joy because the testing produces patience. Woh! Hold up! I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to be tested. I like that meme going around: “Oh, LOOK mom’s last nerve,” and my child pushes that last nerve, and runs off giggling. Take a deep breath, momma, it’s going to be okay. We belong to God! Our Father in heaven. The great I AM. Alpha and Omega. He’s got you.
" My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. "
James 1:2-4 (NKJV)
My hope in writing this is to shed light on the struggles and sacrifices of homeschooling, and add a bit of humor and silliness along the way. Who wants to be serious all the time?
Key verses:
" Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. "
Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)
" Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. "
Philippians 4:6-7 (ESV)